“What?”
“This girl at the rink has Instagram and I want it too.”
Ok, I guess we’re having THIS conversation now.
Rosa, my oldest child is 10 years old. She will correct you and tell you she is much closer to 11 because her birthday is March 12th. She is a very responsible, mature 10 year old. After taking the babysitting course, she now watches her two younger brothers alone for short periods of time, and she’s proven herself quite capable. She has wit and seems to understand people well with little anxiety and demonstrates great confidence and resiliency in the world of blooming tween girls. Wow, this sounds like a report card! So back to the question: should I let her have an Instagram account?
Nope. Not happening. I’ll admit for a brief moment, I really did consider it. I thought about all the positive traits Rosa has that I listed above and thought, “you know, this kid can handle it”. It was when I started to explain the world of social media that the answer to her question easily presented itself. I explained that once you post something it’s out there, to everyone. It’s not just a conversation between a couple of people, you are talking to the world. The whole cyber world can tap into what you are doing and more importantly who they “think” you are. Let’s face it, the biggest problem with communication on social media is the inability to detect inflection, body language and tone.
I can say to you “I love your dress” in a comment feed and you really have no idea if I’m being an a-hole or genuine. Sure emoticons are supposed to fix that, but they don’t entirely. Without inflection and tone, people speculate and easily become paranoid. They often “think” someone is being a jerk when they’re not OR they think someone is being nice when in fact they’re being a sarcastic jerk. You can WASTE hours worrying about what YOU think someone meant in a comment or a post.
I called to my peers on Facebook to weigh in on the question of whether my 10 yr old should have an Instagram account, and hands down it received the most comments on any question I’d ever asked. I don’t judge ANYONE who’s reading this and allows their 10 year to have an instagram account. You are the parent. You know your child. I write this blog and share my thoughts, only to help those who are undecided or for those who are just nosy and want to know what kind of Mom I am.
One of the best pieces of parenting advice I’ve gotten is from of course, my Mom. She has a saying, “we are adults for a LONG time, let them be kids as long as they can.” It’s so true, and sometimes because Rosa is the oldest and so responsible and mature I put a lot of pressure and expectations on her. She really doesn’t need the added burden and pressure of social media. It breeds insecurity, doubt and narcissism. I’ve seen many adults struggle with social media and how it makes them “feel”, so why in the world would I subject my kid to that stress? When I worked on television, I had the opportunity to meet and interview local police officers about cyber bullying. This is real, this is serious. If you have a slightly anxious child, with even a bit of self doubt they can get eaten alive online. Talk to your kids, watch your kids, listen to your kids. I understand that online is how and where kids communicate, but what’s the rush? Build up the foundation of knowledge and understanding of what words can really do.
The world isn’t any scarier than it used to be, it’s just different. LOL OMG LMAO BRB WTH TTYL
This is an excellent video done by Strutt Central in Peterborough, ON on cyber bullying, watch with your kids!
MF
With mine being in their early 20’s I can imagine the challenges of having pre teens & teens in this time of rapid social media advancements & communications. Oh the pressures! If I did, I think your perspective is well said. I hope it inspires other parents to consider the pressure and ultimate influences of the introduction of the world wide web. I agree, there is no harm in keeping them innocent in these ways as long as you can.