Yup… in the words of the band Whitesnake… “Here I go again…”
My baby, 5 years old and a full time student. HE’S TOO LITTLE! HE’S TOO YOUNG! These are my thoughts as he clutched me this morning with tears in his eyes and said: “I don’t wanna go to school.”
“I know baby, it’s tough, but Momma will be right here when you get home and we can have a dance party and eat cookies.”
Oprah Winfrey once said, we can have it all, just not all at once.
There really isn’t a worse feeling than seeing your child hurt or sad. So what do we do about it? Keep them home? Teach them that when you don’t feel like doing something, you don’t have to do it? Or do we gently encourage and assure them that they’re not alone in how they feel? I think we do a bit of both.
My second child struggled greatly with separation anxiety. It was awful, like I mean sucked BIG time. Now in grade 3, and almost 8 years old, he seems to have really climbed over the mountain. He still worries and is more sensitive than the others, but he’s improved so much at managing his feelings and self regulation — insert proud parent icon here.
So why did he get over that mountain? Well I think it’s a combination of perseverance, guidance and reassurance from the people he trusts most. Telling him and showing him that it will get better, it will get easier. Now that being said, I do think the wee kids starting full time, every day kindergarten, should stay home now and then (if a parent has that choice of course). Even if it’s a half day. Mental health is as important for our kids as it for us.
Sometimes we need a day to stay home, and so do do our kids.
Another trick that I find really helpful is having something to look forward to. For my kids, Halloween and preparing for it, really gets them through September and October. It can be as simple as some cookies when they get off the bus, or maybe you promise to pick them up from school, the point is, there is an incentive, something to look forward to. We all need it. Kids are just little versions of adults, they need a lot of the same things we do, so help them by giving it to them. In the meantime, make some lunches, do some laundry get the vacuuming done, finish your deadline for work and the toilets need to be cleaned… oh and dinner is burning.
Happy September.
MF
Amen sister. I wouldn’t hesitate to take G out of school for a day if I felt like she needed a little break. Her school is super accommodating for things like that, which makes this mama feel pretty damn good!