As parents, most of us will face a time when one of our children doesn’t make the team. My kids aren’t involved in competitive sports. For now, and maybe indefinitely they’re house league kids. My daughter however has been involved in a great community theater production for the past few years. Arbour Theatre produces incredible and fun adapted play productions (last year was a fun version of Cinderella).
The plays are presented each December to hundreds of elementary students. I’ve had the privilege to share the stage with my daughter a couple of times. The first year I tried out with her, hoping it would make it less stressful for her. Much to my surprise, she blew the audition out of the water and wasn’t nervous at all. She made the cut! She’s auditioned every year since then. She’s landed and delivered some impressive roles. She proved herself as a theater actor on and off stage.
Rosa as “little Cinderella” with her Godmother and positive influencer of the stage, Alessandra Ferreri
This year Rosa auditioned for Snow White. The annual play has grown significantly in popularity and as a result more and more kids are coming out to auditions. Competition has grown. The director, Ray Henderson is amazing. He knows so many of the families coming to these auditions, including ours. He’s our friend. The struggle he faces to cast a play as a director and not as a friend is incredibly challenging. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I know this is the situation for so many coaches out there. The grey area of “But I work with his/her Mom, or they’re my cousins. They’re my neighbour. I deal with the parents through work”. The politics that come into play when cuts are necessary can be detrimental to relationships.
Rosa didn’t make the cut this year.
Honestly when Ray told me Rosa didn’t make it this year, I wasn’t worried. I certainly don’t think she has a “free pass” because of her experience, or because Ray is my friend. I thought what a great teachable moment. We all need to learn there will be times, we don’t and won’t make the cut. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We win some. We lose some. I rarely make the auditions I try out for in Toronto and I often share this info with my kids. Often with theater and acting, not landing the audition is simply out of your control. You may not be the right age, the right weight, the right hair colour, the right look, or the right sound for that part. These “things” are beyond your control. Sometimes you are just not ready. I share my “failure” stories with my kids so they know we’re all human, even Mommy. Trying out takes courage. It’s hard to put yourself out there and risk not making it. I commend the process and risk as much as the reward. I also suggest getting constructive feedback, so you can learn and grow from the experience.
Rosa as “little Morgana” , Alessandra as “big Morgana” in Camelot 2012
We had the conversation leading into the audition, as we always do, that no one is guaranteed to make it. Now that I knew she didn’t make it, I had to figure out how to tell her. I was pretty confident she would be fine with it, but ya never know. YA NEVER KNOW WHAT AN 11 YEAR OLD GIRL WILL DO, OR HOW SHE WILL REACT!
Luckily that day I also learned she was approved and registered to serve tea at local musuem, Hutchison House in Peterborough. I thought “Perfect! There’s a great angle to tell her!”
Me: “Rosa I have good news and I have bad news. What do you want first?”
Rosa: “The bad news”
Me: “You didn’t make the play”
Rosa: (without skipping a beat) “That’s ok! Can we still watch it? I’ll have more free time.”
Me: “Yes. Yes and yes”
She texted Ray straight away, (after she learned the good news of serving tea) and thanked him with cute emoticons. She told me she felt bad for Ray. She said it must be hard to have to cut his friends. Yea, that was a proud Mommy moment for sure. My kids continually keep me on a roller coaster of emotion: Despair, anger, laughter, passion and deep heartfelt joy.
We can’t wait to see Snow White this December at Showplace!
MF
She’s awesome 🙂
*quickly realize that it’s way more fun to play – win or lose and they do so with grace. We need to stop putting children in protective bubbles that they need not be in and teach and allow them to be the people that they are meant to be.