At the end of each year we reflect and look back. What was good? What was awful? What was awesome? Some years are meh, and some years are life changers.
2015 was a life changing year for me. In February I made a big decision and decided to leave my job and start my own business. It was scary as hell, but it was the right decision.
I recently spoke to a group of young entrepreneurs about my “success” as an online blogger and vlogger. I told my story. I explained that my previous jobs kept interfering with my life. I felt like I had no work-life balance. I was miserable. I was trying to be a mom, a wife, and make my bosses happy. When I started to work for myself, I realized I was working even more. I was (and am) consumed with what I do, because IT IS MY LIFE. I do not believe there’s a mythical “work life balance” so many of us dream of. Your life is your work and your work is your life. Life and work are intertwined and cannot be separated. The trouble with most people is, they have job they don’t like or don’t care about, so they want away from it. They want to race home and get as far away from it as possible. But in today’s technology saturated society, work follows you home. It’s normal to get emails or texts at 8pm, 11pm, or 6am and answer them. The day of the 9-5 job is slipping away quickly. I talked to lots of friends and ex colleagues this year about my new work life. They wanted to know, how I did it. They wanted to know how I walked away? The more people I talk to, the more I hear the same story. “My workplace wants more from me, but they don’t want to pay me more”. “I feel like another brick in the wall”. “I’m undervalued and overworked”.
Here’s what I tell people. You are another brick in the wall. Almost all companies are the same. It’s not going to be better somewhere else. What needs to change is you. If you like being a brick in the wall and feeling the way you feel, then stay. If you don’t, change it. You know what you want to do. You might not see it yet, or more importantly, you might not believe it yet.
I know now I was meant to “perform”. I know I have great creative ability. I know I can think on my feet. I know I can connect and empathize with people. I know I am independent and hard to control. I know my greatest strength is also my greatest weakness. My fearless nature to put myself out there, also puts a big bulls eye on my back for judgment.
A couple of months back I brought my Mom with me to an event I was emceeing. As we got out of the car, I chuckled and said to my Mom, “Who’d thunk, all those times I was sent to the office and got detentions for talking too much in class now pays my bills and makes me very happy”.
I had a moment. I thought back to a teacher who told me I was a sarcastic little shit who would never amount to anything. He was right, I was a sarcastic little shit. Don’t worry, Mr you know who you are, karma visited and I’m raising three of me. My point is, once I realized that talking and communicating with wit was my skill, I learned to polish it. My strength has ALWAYS been there, I was born with it. But for years I thought it was a weakness. I needed to believe in myself and polish it. I needed to learn from my mistakes and grow. I always feel like I’m late to the party. I feel like where I am now in my career, is where I should have been 15 years ago. I wasn’t ready 15 years ago because, without my experiences, I would never have learned my value.
It’s kinda like when you are 20 and you reallllly want a new car, a new house, an expensive purse or whatever it is you like. So you get married. You get a new car. You get a house with a fat mortgage, and then you wake up one day and realize, “Oh, this is it? I have it, so now what do I do? We constantly wanna get to the next “thing”. Whether it’s marriage, kids, a car, a boat, trips, whatever it is, we think , “If I just had blah blah blah, then I would be better”. No you won’t. You won’t be happy unless you make yourself happy. You have to have passion about what you do to succeed. You have to care. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU HAVE TO WANT IT.
I know I sound like the plot of every Disney movie, but it’s true. The only person standing in front of you, is you. Your mind and thoughts are the only thing stopping you.
Set some goals and go after them. If you don’t, someone else will. Life gets way more exciting when you realize you can be and do anything you want. You just have to be patient, consistent and put forth the effort.
Thank you for a wonderful 2015. It is because of all of you reading this, that I finally feel like I’m exactly where I should be.
Happy New Year.
Be safe, be awesome, have fun and be kind.
MF
