We Graduated: Bring on The Arm Free Phase

We were sitting at a restaurant for my husband’s birthday.

Our friends brought their beautiful kids;  their two year old daughter and six month old son.

Our kids were of course, also with us. They are twelve, nine and six. I watched as our friends found a spot for the ridiculous car seat (WOULD SOMEONE REDESIGN THOSE ALREADY?!  I HAVE CHRONIC BACK PAIN FROM THAT DAMN THING!)

When the baby woke up, he played strange with a few of us, mostly me actually. The parents passed the baby back and forth while minding the two year old was safe in her seat.  I also realized I had way too much jewellery on for any interaction with an infant.

My kids ordered their own food and sat in their seat. The baby needed warm water to add to his cereal.  My kids coloured the kids meal place mat.

I watched as my friend ate one handed with the baby on her lap.  The memories of of having a child physically tied to me for almost 11 years came flooding back.

Just like that, I realized, I was arm free.  

Going “arm free” wasn’t instant, it was a slow graduation, but in that moment it felt instant.  When did it happen? When did my kids get so independent?  My kids can do up their seat belts.  My kids can zip up their coats. My kids can make their cereal.  My kids can play for an hour while my husband and I sleep in on Sunday.  My kids can even stay alone.

The freedom is new.  The freedom is real.

We recently took a trip, just my husband and I.  It was the longest amount of time I’ve ever spent away from my kids: six days. 

 I have to say thanks to face time and the hangouts app (yes get it if you have a twelve year old), I didn’t feel overly sad or lonely for them.  My Mom was babysitting so that helped a lot too! 

I know our kids have the skills to manage themselves.  I know they’ve got this.  I know my twelve year old daughter could probably run the country, so making sure the house ran smoothly for a week was a breeze and quite frankly a boost of confidence for all of them.  They just loved telling Grandma how to do everything the “right” way.

On our way home from our trip, my husband and I had a couple of hours at the airport.  I felt like I was 17 again.  My hands were so free and I ate whatever I wanted! I didn’t have a nagging feeling that someone I created was in grave danger or wandering away while I looked at souvenirs. It was a surreal feeling. I was also giddy at the thought of getting home to see them.

My hubby and I at the Magic Castle. Arm free to wrap around each other;)

I loved when my kids were babies, because I love babies, I would have had ten honestly.  I loved rocking my babies in the middle of the quiet night while they fed.  I loved getting them out of their crib every morning with their big smiley faces. I loved watching them learn to eat and belly laugh.

I also LOVE this stage. I don’t feel sad that they are less dependent, which I really thought I would. I feel excited.

I love watching my children become independent people. I love watching them grow.  I love going to the movies and to restaurants with them.  I love talking about new music with them. I love sharing clothes and jewellery with my daughter. I LOVE reading Harry Potter to my sons every night while they sip tea and listen intently to a book with no pictures.

A little less glamorous here, but it really is my favourite part of the day!

So to all of you exhausted parents who are worried about your kids growing up, I’m here to tell you it’s really fun. Enjoy every phase. There’s joy, anger, laughter, sadness, and excitement in every day and every phase of parenting.

Thank goodness I love change, otherwise I would have quit parenting a long time ago;)

The best part of leaving your kids is coming home to them;) They loved their souvenirs too!

MF