A Powerful Letter From A Dad About His Depressed Son

As many of you know, Bell Let’s Talk Day is January 25th 2017. I love the awareness this day brings to mental health, but my big wish is that we KEEP talking ALL YEAR.

I truly believe we are making huge progress as a society in recognizing how important it is to talk about mental health. Everyone is impacted by mental health. EVERYONE.

This letter was sent to me by a parent of a young man dealing with depression. I was listening to John Lennon’s Imagine when I read it and I have to say, the tears welled up pretty good.

I do not suffer from depression, I do not understand what it feels like to have depression but I do appreciate the struggles of a person who suffers, I am the father of a child that suffers from depression. For the longest time I thought I was dealing with a typical moody teenager (we have all been there), but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get my son to open up and talk to me (I still can’t at times). I knew something was up but couldn’t nail it down and never even considered depression; after all he has grown up in a loving family, a nice home, everything he could want and great friends, what’s to be depressed about ?

My personal struggle is figuring out how to say thank you to someone, yes it sounds stupid after all it’s just two simple words, a phrase we all say at some point every day. But most of the time they are just words with no real meaning, here is the issue I am still dealing with today. A while ago I found out that my son was really struggling but he found the courage to talk through the support of one teacher at his school, This teacher has been completely open with everyone about his struggle and I know that helped my son feel comfortable enough to talk to his teacher about his own depression, this was a huge turning point for my son.

Imagine a firefighter pulls a child from a burning house, to me that is the definition of a hero, but in my case I had no idea that my house was on fire!

This teacher, pulled my son from danger and helped him to open up and start talking about his struggle. You can’t see depression, yes there are signs but who am I to diagnose this, I am learning that depression is not always as obvious as you might think and I know some people are really good at hiding it. To me this teacher is a hero and simply saying thank you to him will never do justice, my family is my life, my reason for living, the man helped save my son so how do I thank a hero?

There is definitely more than one hero in this story.

• The Dad for supporting his son and accepting his son’s depression.
• The teacher of course for empowering the teenager to understand that he is NOT alone.
• The teenager for having the courage to talk about his struggles and open up to his family and friends for support. 

This letter speaks perfectly to the power of “Let’s Talk”.

Talking, sharing, listening, supporting, not judging, being kind, having empathy, these are all so important when we talk about mental health.

As I write this, I am home with my son who made some poor choices at school.  He struggles with anxiety and negative thinking.  It is incredible and heart breaking to listen to your child or someone you love say such hurtful things about themselves and no matter how hard you try to tell them, they are convinced they are worthless.

Don’t stop telling them how worthy they are.

Don’t stop talking to them when they shut you out.

Don’t stop telling them you love them no matter what.

Words are powerful. Let’s choose the right ones to show we care and that no one is alone in battling mental health. Whether it is a clinical diagnosis or a rough patch in your life, we all struggle.

Let’s make the struggle more manageable. Let’s talk about it.

*If you are in a crisis and need help, please call 911. Get professional help. Talking is emotional support, but you may need medical and professional help, don’t be ashamed, get help. Here are some links to helpful mental health resources.

MF