I learned a lot in 2019.
Actually, I don’t think it’s fair to say I just learned the following lessons in 2019, rather that I was ready to receive these lessons in 2019.
This will make more sense when you read the first one.
Lesson 1
Just because you are presented with information doesn’t mean you are ready to receive it. It usually takes experience, loss or change to face what you are avoiding.
Lesson 2
Everything you need to achieve what you want is within you. So often I hear people say, “I want this or that but it’s not the right time or I’m not ready.” This is really you deciding you are not ready. We are never “ready” for anything, because we have to have the experience to do something and the only way you get experience is to do something: So you see the paradox:Learn to do by doing, and do it.
Lesson 3
Married families are just as complicated as divorced families. Families are complicated whether you are married or not. Blending people’s interests and personalities is hard. People grow. People change. Children develop, they evolve. This happens regardless of a divorce or not so stop blaming divorce on change: Change is inevitable.
Lesson 4
Pain and suffering are part of happiness. Pick your poison. This is a thought process I’ve had for a while but it certainly was in the forefront of 2019. As my grandma used to say, it’s all the same shit, it’s just a different pile. The question you have to ask yourself is what pile is most important to you? Which one are you able to live with?
Cinderella had to clean before she got the shoes, but the chores still needed to be done even after she got the shoes.
Lesson 5
People’s problems and anger toward you rarely have anything to do with you. We project our own insecurities, fear and suffering onto others. We can’t possibly know someone’s whole story, yet we are quick to anger and react to their opinions and ideas, why? Because we are projecting our truth onto them. But our truths are exactly that: Ours. Be mindful of your reactions and opinions.
Lesson 6
You can’t accept love until you accept yourself. This is such a cliche saying, but when you “need” someone, you are destined for disappointment. When you want someone, you open up to a place of personal happiness. You need to be whole with yourself, that means self awareness of knowing who you are and what you truly want. You need to complete tasks on your own to know you can. You need to love the reflection you see, you need to stop setting goals that make you think you’ll be better “when” and start loving who you are now.
Lesson 7
Good friends and family are everything. I’ve known this for a long time, but 2019 certainly reinforced it on a massive scale. The people who are there for you in your darkest hour, are your people. The people who cheer you on because they genuinely want you to succeed, these are your people. Meaningful, authentic relationships where you expect nothing in return fill the soul. These relationships are what make you wealthy. We need connection, it is up to you to take care of these relationships, if you don’t, they will disintegrate.
Lesson 8
Conflict and disagreements are not always dangerous. You can still make people happy and have boundaries. Honesty and vulnerability of sharing your true thoughts and feelings are critical to setting boundaries. Don’t tell someone you have plans, tell them the truth, you need to stay home and recharge. Be honest. Speak your truth with kindness and respect.
Lesson 9
You don’t know what you don’t have until you have it. Life is a paradox, it really is yin and yang. Once you realize you can’t truly understand happiness without sadness you start to see the world differently. You start to find gratitude for the sadness. You don’t know what you don’t know. You don’t know how miserable you are until you’re not and you don’t know how happy you were until you’re not. Sometimes you don’t know the meaning of a moment until it becomes a memory, so be present.
Lesson 10
You are allowed to be happy. This was the hardest and most important lesson for me. I thought I was selfish for admitting what my heart and mind want.
Here are a few more of my favourite moments from 2019.
I’d love to hear yours!
I believe reflection is so important to practice gratitude and appreciate how far we have come.
From me to you, Happy New Year. May your 20s be ROARING!
