We were sitting at a friends table. We were sipping wine and we were whining. We were sharing our struggles of how overwhelming life can be and is.
I looked around and noticed, the floors weren’t mopped, the laundry was still in the laundry basket. I didn’t give a rats ass. I wasn’t there to judge her housekeeping skills. I was there to enjoy the company. I didn’t care one bit. But I knew if people were in my house I would care about my laundry in my basket.
As we shared stories of managing the many “roles” in our lives, I realized the advice I was giving, I needed to give to myself. SLOOOOWWW DOWN! Rome wasn’t built in a day. We talked about how our problems were “Cadillac” problems, compared to third world problems. I reminded them and myself that all problems are relative. Relativity is a powerful concept.
I come from a group of “doers”. We take charge. We are organized. We are in control and we like tasks finished yesterday. Our minds, like most women I know are comprised of 32 lists in our head. If we hurry and get some of those items checked off, we feel less “cluttered”, we feel more in control.
I can’t cook dinner or start cooking dinner or any meal if there are dishes or cereal boxes cluttering the counter space. My mind is cluttered with so many things. By clearing the space around me, my brain feel less cluttered. It helps me feel more in control of what often feels like an out of control life.
When someone sends me a text, email or phone call, I feel compelled to answer IMMEDIATELY. There are two reasons for my urgency.
1. If I don’t answer immediately, I will forget.
2. I hate when people don’t get back to me.
People are in such a hurry today. It’s an epidemic. I have little patience to begin with, and this new age society of “instant gratification” has only magnified it. We also need to remind ourselves how our RUSHED lifestyle impacts our kids. I don’t know about you, but my kids WANT It NOW! We need to show our kids that we can be effective while not rushing. If we want to raise patient kids, we need to show them we’re patient. How many times a day do we say “hurry up, we’re gonna be late?”.
The problem with an increased sense of urgency is, it creates mounting personal pressure and stress. We are bombarded with schedules and time management. I should be editing right now, but I’ m writing this blog because it’s giving me clarity and permission that it’s ok to take your time. We get so wrapped up in creating a life, we forget to live one. We are so busy planning what to do we don’t enjoy what we ARE doing. The dishes will wait. They always do. Memories are more valuable than anything.
Recently, my daughter came across home videos of herself when she was a baby. I couldn’t believe it. It seemed like eons ago but also just like yesterday she was that small. It is crazy how quickly it went by. We need to remind ourselves about what is truly important in life. I often use the phrase, will this matter in 10 years? Will it matter in five minutes? Do I need to get soooo upset that my kids room is a mess? DOES IT REALLY MATTER???
I posted this video the other day about how I was supposed to be working, but I chose hanging with my kids instead.
I'm supposed to be editing a beauty blog...but my kids won. Posted by Michelle Ferreri on Monday, August 3, 2015
Good for you Michelle. Those are the times your children will remember and smile about! You can never spend enough time with your children. Before you know it they are 18 and 20.Thank you Tina. You read my mind. I think if you communicate to people how you're feeling, you'll quickly discover most people feel the same way too. Don't think people don't understand how busy you are. We are all suffering from the "busy sickness". Communication is so important. Our feelings are what connect us, we all share the same ones. Everyone is juggling. Everyone is busy. Explain your situation, stop saying yes to everything and SLOW DOWN. SO now I will tell you. The beauty blog about how to curl extensions with a wand will be ready next week. OK? I have a crazy busy week with marketing the Peterborough EX (PLEASE COME & SAY HI!). I'm busy, so are you. You've got this. So do I. MF
So true Michelle. I’m a busy person too, but always tried to remind myself that my daughter wouldn’t always be little, so I needed to stop cleaning and just be with her. It’s a tricky balance and we always have to keep ourselves in check. She’s 18 now and has moved out. I miss her being around, but I’m happy and proud that she has the confidence to be doing what she wants. Great article. Keep up the good work!