Me: “Marcello, you can’t come, Mommy is going on a date with Giorgio.”
Marcello: “BUT I WANNA COME.”
Me: “Good! You can and will, when it’s your turn for a date, because everybody gets a turn.”
I have 3 gremlins, and we really do everything together, which is awesome. My kids play great together (and fight great together too). They really are best buds, but last year when my middle son was really struggling in school and it seemed like all we ever did was give him trouble, I decided to try a different approach.
I picked him up from school and we went to Wendy’s for lunch. Just me and him. Across from each other, no one else poking my arm or spilling their drink or needing a chaperone to the bathroom. Just me and him. And just like I turned on a light, he switched. His behaviour was better, his listening was better and I was a better parent.
I took that time to ask him questions, and actually listen to his answers. Most managers will tell you, what people really want, is to be heard, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. We are preoccupied with other kids, housework, a job, a dog, a partner. I try to do a date night once a month with the kids, and it doesn’t have to long or spectacular, just getting in the car and going for ice cream or even a bike ride, walk or hike. The point is to be alone together, without distractions.
So I say this: whether you are a parent or not, making one on one time for the people in your life who matter, matters. SO honey it’s your turn…what’s playing at the movies?
MF
